I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize