She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
