No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
