Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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