Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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