Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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