Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
