also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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