Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
