You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
