Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
