tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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