I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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