I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
