Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
