So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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