You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
