you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
