There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
