I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
