How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize