he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Randomize
