I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
