Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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