she smelled like a LAN party
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
