It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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