watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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