they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
