I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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