Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
