My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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