It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You smell like stripper and shame
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
