what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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