I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
