Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize