he wants to bone in the snuggie
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
