just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize