id be glad to
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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