And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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