So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
