Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
