Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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