STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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