Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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