He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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