i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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