yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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