apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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