Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
