Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
the raccoons are back...
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