I think my fart just growled at me.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
