I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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