I wanna bring you to show and tell
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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