too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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