She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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