I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bring me that man meat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
