Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
