oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
