party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
