I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
