I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
