Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
