I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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