How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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