never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
