i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
