Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
