Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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