Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I cannot find my penis.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize