he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
