you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize