if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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