can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
