im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
