Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
