Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize